Take my love, for love is everlasting.

Eeeeheeeheee so today I talked to an epilepsy specialist at UCLA I was there for so long blaaaaaahhhhh. The guy we talked to had pretty eyes. They were really light blue but were bordered by a really dark blue.

OMG and today at the beginning of band I tuned and the tuner said I was sharp so I kept fixing it and I was like “Hmm I’ve never had to adjust this much” and I didn’t have enough time to finish. And then when we sat down after Acrostic Song I tried to tune again and I realized my tuner was calibrated to 413 instead of 440 hehe. Then I remembered that yesterday I was leaning against the wall in the girls bathroom, waiting, and it turned on and the metronome started ticking.

I will now eat some ice cream because my dad bought my favorite (Moosetracks) last week.

Oh also I had the most horrific dream last night. I remembered it all of a sudden when I scrolled down my dash and saw a gas mask.

oh

i had a dream last night i was searching in the garage for something

then went out and played softball. when i woke up i realized how much i actually do miss playing it.

i can’t be entirely sure what it is about softball that i miss. or what i liked about it. i think it’s easier to figure out what i don’t miss.

marsden was pretty cool in middle school but everyone noticed he just wasn’t as nice in high school. i don’t think that’s what i really disliked about the experience.

i think most of it was the people- or maybe it was me. i didn’t really feel like i could fit in very well. not in the sense that i stood out, but more like i didn’t belong at all. i had (and still have) some really good friends on the team, it’s just i always felt like the one left out and i was really uncomfortable because of that.

this is getting really hard to explain. i can’t words.

i kind of felt like that was happening this year in band, too. more in marching than concert band. part of the time i really loved band and part of the time i really hated it. i guess it doesn’t matter much because next year i’m not going to be doing either and will instead be taking art which is something i absolutely know i’ll love.

i don’t really know what this text post is either. it started out as a dream update and then turned into a stream of thoughts.

Holy moly so I took a nap around five today and it ended up lasting an hour and a half instead of 20 minutes and I dreamt that I was wandering through a school (supposedly mine, but it didn’t look like it) and my brother kept picking up the phone and calling my mom and she never picked up and then I was playing cards with two middle-aged women and they were talking about their children and then I was behind my friend’s parents car in an above-ground parking lot and they were listening to my playlist and her dad said he really liked Transformation from Brother Bear. So we listened to it again and then the whole entire scene unfolded in front of us in the parking lot. And then I went to the ledge and looked out and we were in the mountains, there was a summit in the distance hidden by clouds, and to the left a mountain meadow with yellow flowers in a really really blue lake and another huge mountain rising out of the distance with snow. Below there was a little town and across was a ridge with a log on top.

Oh yeah and then I woke up and I had that song stuck in my head, but strangely enough it was in English, and I hardly listen to that version. And I didn’t want to make food and I realized my mom wasn’t home so I kind of panicked so when I called her I was extremely relieved she picked up.